I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
