Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm both gender and math confused
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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