She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
