Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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