you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
