Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
