i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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