Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Randomize
