sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
