Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
