Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
