You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Randomize
