sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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