how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
