And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
