Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
