and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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