How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
