she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize