it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
