My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Randomize
