having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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