just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
