Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
