you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
