When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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