I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
