I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
