I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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