he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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