I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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