your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize