champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
