I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
