she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
