You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
