Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
