Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
