can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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