found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
