I could make wine with my vomit
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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