Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
