She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
