so explain again why im purple
no
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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