got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
