Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
