god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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