Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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