We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
