I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
