Do vagina's smell?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
