How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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