Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
