you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
