Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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