Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
im holly from the hills drunk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
