oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize