your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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