god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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