he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
