I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
