My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
