if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We need a shit load of segways right now
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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