the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
