would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
