And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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