is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
look no pants
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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