ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
