i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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