I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
