Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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