I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
