i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
