To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
