apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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