Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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