He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
