he shaved USA in his pubs
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
FUCK WHALES
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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